Perseverance? I got it. I knock on the next one when one door closes, like an obnoxious child. But sometimes, God knows that in order to take you away from a personal dream, He has to close every door relating to that dream. Yes, that is precisely what happened with my dream of becoming a Special Agent for the FBI.
“God, I can make an impact in the secular world. You want Your children in positions of influence.” That was part of my conversation with God about this particular dream of mine. However, deep down, I wanted prestige, status, and “beaucoup money.” Yes, I am not afraid to say it. God has His ways to make me humble, and I take them. What happened next?
On May 4th, 2015, I failed a polygraph test at the FBI building in Mobile, Alabama—sweet home, Alabama—. The force was not with me that day, for sure—Star Wars fans understand—. One day I will post a blog about the experience of being escorted out of a federal building and feeling like a loser, liar, and criminal. If you identify with an enneagram ONE, you understand how I felt. Add to that a crushed dream. CRUSHED! In a second, mmmm… a nanosecond. You know I despise—hate, detest and condemn— lies if you know me. I did not lie. I will tell you which question I failed. It makes me laugh. 😂🤦♀️
One single “Failed” closed the door to the possibility of getting a job in one of the following agencies: Central Intelligence Agency, the Defense Intelligence Agency, the Drug Enforcement Administration, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the National Reconnaissance Office, the National Security Agency, the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, and the Secret Service. Why? Because when you fail a polygraph at one of those agencies—FBI in my case— you cannot apply to any other. At least it was like that back in 2015. I do not have the desire to even look into that today. One FAILED test. ONE!
But guess what? It opened the door for HIS DREAMS! His dreams are God’s dreams for our lives. Those dreams—works—He prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10, John 9:4, 1 Corinthians 15:58). Not to earn or keep our salvation because His salvation is free, and there is NOTHING we can do to earn it—thank you for teaching me that, theology professor—. But to fulfill His good purpose—our mission on earth— (Philippians 2:13).
Again, to shape our character, He allows afflictions. Like Romans 5:3-5 reads, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (NIV)
To conclude, Romans 8:28 is at work in my life! Do you like a good challenge? If you do, find out His dreams for your life and live them! I promise you, you will understand what joy unspeakable means.